Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
