she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
