Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
