When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
