Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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