wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
