Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
