Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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