The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize
