Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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