I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
