I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
