This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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