I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
