I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
