i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
