If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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