if i can run in heels then i can drive
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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