Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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