just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
