it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize