Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize
