To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
