in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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