And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
