I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one acquire holy water?
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize