Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it glows. i had to have it.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize