I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
