THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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