hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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