We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
