Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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