my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
