Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize