You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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