Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Randomize
