My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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