There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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