Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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