I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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