you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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