some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
