bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
