his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
