Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
