From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
and she was petting her beer can
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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