he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
‪He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life‬
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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