So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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