I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i will never coherently bang her
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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