Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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