farters have to be the big spoon...
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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