Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
