Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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