im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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