I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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