oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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