Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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