I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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