that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I need to calm my uterus...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
