I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
