why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize
