"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
