i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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