She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
