whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Randomize
