Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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