I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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