suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
