I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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