Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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